A Year Ago Today, January 19th...

     James Ray Startz is 54 years old today. He is officially old...ok, that was mean but he is...and I am just nine months from being old, too. So I better hush...but the neatest part of this birthday for James is that this same exact time last year, we laughed and promised each other that a year from now, we would be living in Alaska. God as our witness, we were going to sell it all and move to Juneau. The entire world around us scoffed and tee-heed and thought it would never in a million years happen. The entire world was wrong. I think there comes a time in everyone's life where you get tired of being safe and boring and you think maybe, just maybe, there is more out there and it would be great fun to "go for it". As my sister said, "You have always been the sensible one...you can't move to Alaska! That is something I would do!" and you know, she was so right. I am the sensible one...the one that everyone counts on to just be plugging along, boring as all get-out! When James and I took that second cruise to Alaska, we took Caleb with us, and he was so amazed by the scenery and the native culture. So when we got home from the cruise, James and I began to bandy about the idea of actually really moving...which would mean closing our very successful business and selling our home and basically everything we owned. It would all have to be sold to be able to have the money to move. So from January 2012 to April 2012, we kicked the idea around, even putting the house up for sale. James began to start fixing up his collection of old tractors to be sold and I started looking at our finances to see if we could possibly do this move, as it would not be cheap to get us clear across the United States, and then on a ferry to Juneau. In April, my mother gave us the money to buy tickets to Juneau for Caleb, James and me to go scouting around and see if we could find jobs and a house. At the last minute, Mom decided to come with us so she could make sure we were doing the right thing. After the big scouting trip, we came back home to Harlingen, ready to get the ball rolling again. We called an auction house and within days the auction was set. The plan was full steam ahead...and we never looked back....
      So this birthday is sorta historic...we made a promise to each other and ourselves and the kids and we plowed forward till we got here. It was not easy...the trip across the states was way harder than we could have ever imagined, and finding jobs wasn't as easy as we had hoped, but at this point, we seem to have forgotten the hard parts and now we are reaping the good parts....the parts that we hoped would come and they did and they have and God is good, all the time. We trusted in God to bring us here safely and He did and we are forever thankful and in awe of our God and his plans for us. 2013 holds such promise for this family...a grand baby is on the way, and we are all healthy and have great jobs. And every single day, we get to wake up in the most beautiful place in the world.
     So Happy Birthday, baby! We did it! We really did it! May God give you 54 more years...wait, that would make you 108....well, it could happen...:)

Looking forward to 2013 and being a grandmother!!!!

     It is two days till the end of 2012. I can't begin to list all the changes that came around in 2012. Let's see if I can try, though...decided to move from Texas to Alaska, sold most everything we owned to get to Alaska, spent June at South Padre Island, Ryan and Jon decided to move with us, the Texas Caravan made it to Juneau in 9 days, we all got new jobs, we all moved into new homes, we found out Juneau is filled with great people, we celebrated a wonderful 32nd wedding anniversary (James and me), loved having Thanksgiving with our new neighbors and friends, and had the most beautiful white Christmas you have ever seen....but the most exciting thing happening around this family is Ryan and Jon are having a BABY and James and I are going to be grandparents...and Caleb is going to be an uncle!!!!! Now, I know this is not news to anyone keeping up with my blog, but I just don't think this event can be topped...nope, sorry...this is the best thing about 2012. And when the baby angel gets here in July 2013, the baby will be the best thing about 2013. Hands down...no question...and I mean it. I have waited years for this grand baby...other friends were just having grand babies left and right, and I kept saying things like "When Ryan is ready, she will get pregnant". I did want her to be ready. I hope she is  since it's a little too late to turn back now. And bless her heart, she is so morning sick and so tired and so cranky, but we keep encouraging her and know she will feel better soon...second trimester is here and things are going to improve...I hope.

     So on the 1st day of January, 2013, I am whipping up a big ole pot of black-eyed peas and going to make everyone eat at least a spoonful. We trust God with all of our hearts, but it never hurts to have a little luck on our side...luck is something that our family doesn't have a whole lot of, but we continue forward and trust our Jesus...Happy New Year, dear family and friends...it is going to be a GREAT year! Woo Hoo!

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!!!

     Having lived in Texas my whole life till now, Christmas in Harlingen usually consisted of winds out of the south, at least 30 mph, lots of hot temperatures, and never a need for a sweater. Never...well, unless you count the 100 year snow in 2005, but that shouldn't count as it probably will never happen again. Yes, it was fabulous and we loved it and we couldn't believe that it happened on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day!! It was almost like a Christmas miracle. We lost electricity Christmas Eve, and didn't have any till 5 p.m. on Christmas Day. Having no electricity was really great...we lit candles and opened gifts by the candlelight. We made snowmen, snow angels and ate leftovers for Christmas dinner. And the kids remember it as being the "best Christmas EVER"!

     Here in Juneau, in the winter, it is like Christmas every single day. The entire community puts up lights and let me tell you, that really helps your mood. It is dark here by 4 p.m., and those beautiful Christmas lights warm your heart. Snow and Christmas lights are a grandiose pair! I could easily keep my Christmas decorations up all year, here in Juneau. But I won't, because it probably would get old in the summer, when the sun never really sets.

     Having James gone so much has been really hard on us all. We are trying not to whine and pout but we are not doing too well. The kids miss him so much, and I miss just having him right here with me, as he has been for the last 32 years. So when James got home Saturday night, he came home to a rousing hero's welcome. Lots of hugs and kissing and crying and hanging onto each other, blessed to all be together again. Ryan is really missing her daddy, and we blame it all on the pregnancy. James is so happy to be home and he loved the Christmas decorations and the homey feel I tried really hard to impart.
     So as the Christmas season continues, we will cherish the times we have together and try not to cry and pout, since Santa Claus is coming to town...ok, that was a little corny, but I am a nerd, underneath all the glitter and sparkle! Merry Christmas, Y'all!

Oh, the weather outside is frightful, but inside it's so delightful!

     I think that winter snuck in the back door last night...really. No kidding...no fun-ing...no warning. Any other time, I would be saying, Bring that baby on!", but not when James is out of town. Somebody is going to have to snowplow the driveway this afternoon or at the crack of dawn in the morning before 6:45 so I can get Caleb to work. And I say somebody knowing good and well it will either be Jon or Caleb doing the plowing. Caleb can do it, but bless his heart, he has another cold and he is coughing up a piece of lung every time he coughs. And I can only imagine how hard it is to snowplow up the hill of the driveway when you have a prosthetic leg. My poor angel boy...he will try but I am afraid he will fail. Which means my future son-in-law will have to do it. Lucky Jon...or not-so-lucky Jon. Poor fella....does he really know what he is getting himself into by marrying into this crazy family of ours? He can't run away now, as he is going to be a daddy to my grand baby, and we are going to have lots of fun in the next few years with that dear baby...and he is going to want to be around for it all. Jon is such a good guy. He adores my Ryan and he is going to be one great daddy.

     I miss James. I wish he wasn't gone so much but we understand the job and the rigor it is putting him through. Just wish he was in town more, especially around the holidays. I am just thankful that he WILL be home for Christmas, for sure. The company he works for makes sure their employees are all home for the holidays. YEA! We have been blessed by this company as they really seem to care about families and our needs. It is good to work for a kind company. After running our own company for the past four years, it sure is good to have someone pay US, and on time! That is the best part!
     Amos is still so lonely for James but I think he has finally adjusted to James being gone a bunch. When James is home, Amos sticks right by him, like maybe he can stop him if he tries to leave again. He has learned how to do his business outside in RECORD time...he hates the cold and snow and he is now tugging at his leash to go back INSIDE! It is pretty cute to see him choking himself, literally, to get back to his warm bed. Still spoiled rotten, but better.
     We had such a great Thanksgiving here in Juneau. I miss my family very much. I wish I could just snap my fingers and my mom would be standing here with me. Mama says it is much too cold for her to come up in winter ( that's why we have houses with heaters, Mother!) so she will just wait until the great grand baby is born to come this way. That is just fine with me, as long as she gets here to see my grand baby and her GREAT grand baby!!!! We have to take one of those four generations of women pictures!!!! Mama, I know you are reading this...start booking that flight right now for July. And I mean it, little missy!!!
    Better run before my mama sees this and I get in big trouble....:)

A GRANDBABY and Caleb turns 18...yes, 18!!!!!

     I am going to be a grandmother. James is going to be a grandpa. Caleb is going to be an uncle. My precious baby girl is having a baby of her own. I am going to be a member of the Grandparent's Secret Club. For the past 10 years or so, I have watched my friends become grandparents. I have ached for a grandchild. I never put any pressure on Ryan as I really wanted her to be ready to be a parent. The job of parent is full of joy and love, but it is also very tough on a young mother. Especially if the young mother has to work outside of the house. In the past 4 years or so, I have seen Ryan marry, divorce and become engaged to the father of my grandbaby, Jonathon. Ryan and Jon had been planning a March 2013 wedding in Las Vegas, and had even sent out "save the date" cards. Well, that Vegas wedding is not happening. By then, Ryan will be 6 months pregnant and unable to fly, we are pretty sure. So in the next month or so, Jon and Ryan will be married at the little log chapel that we all attend every Sunday. Our pastor will marry them and we will celebrate in a small but very special way.
    And then we will wait....we will wait till the end of June, 2013 for this baby to appear. At this point, I am not sure who is more excited...James, Ryan, Jon, or me....oh, wait...I know who is the most excited...Caleb!!!!! He has already bought the baby it's first lovey, which is so soft and silky. He can't wait for this precious little baby to get here. It is going to be a long 8 months, waiting for the arrival of our angel.

     And speaking of angels, my angel boy will be 18 years old tomorrow. I can't believe he is going to be 18. I know everyone always says "it seems like just yesterday that I had him" and "enjoy him while you can for he won't be little long". I want him to "be little" for a whole lot more time. Caleb has been such a joy to me, and of course, to his daddy. He has made me a better person. He has taught me what unconditional love, extreme strength of character and what grace is all about. He faces obstacles every single day, but he keeps on keeping on. He never, never, never, ever gives up. I wish I had his faith in God. He shows me every day what life is really all about. He steps up to the plate when his daddy is out of town, and he is a fine "man of the house". He is brave and strong in ways I can only imagine, and he has been my hero for the past 18 years. He loves his family with his whole little heart, and he takes great pride in being" just like his Gandad". He and my dad could have been twins. I truly believe that my daddy's soul is right there inside Caleb. My dad was the greatest man I have ever known, and Caleb is patterning his life after my dad's life.
     James and I feel blessed by our children and "soon to be" grandchildren. Thank you, God, for giving these two children to me...I needed them.

Can't wait to make that first snowman!!!!!

     Winter is on the way...don't need to wait for it to show winter on the calendar which isn't till December. It is getting ready to rip through Juneau. Not that I am an expert on the subject of Juneau weather, but one of Caleb's coworkers at Spunky Sprouts Daycare swears that when there is snow on the Douglas mountains, we are "doomed"! That just cracks me up. Obviously some folks around here aren't too fond of winter. Go figure! This family of mine can't wait for the first real "on the ground" snow. Our neighbors say it will be around Halloween which is just next week. I am really not looking forward to the driving and ice slipping that may occur since we are not used to anything remotely resembling snow or ice. The 100 year snow is 2005 that hit all of south Texas was our first real experience with the white stuff...it melted away so fast there really was no chance to slip and slide around on the roadways, even though James felt compelled to try and find hot coffee for Grandmother and Pawpaw Canville that lovely Christmas Day...we had no electricity( from 7 p.m. Christmas Eve). That was before the generator went in at our house. After we opened our presents by candlelight, James happily drove to Stripes and found coffee and burritos...in fact, our Christmas lunch that day was burritos and leftovers from our Christmas Eve dinner...Mom lucked out on that meal...she was supposed to cook Christmas Lunch but with no electricity, she couldn't. The kids  remember this Christmas as the best one ever...and the snow was the reason. And you know what? The burritos were so darn good...it really was a great day.

     So when that first big snow hits this wonderful town of Juneau, you can bet this family will be out making snowmen, scooting down the driveway with sleds and flapping out snow angels on the lawn. And when we have made fools of ourselves, slipping and sliding through it all, we will gather in our home, snuggle under the blankets, drink hot cocoa, and thank God for all of the blessings He has given our family. Happy Winter, Ya'll!

Signs from God...and my daddy! And a bear or two!

     I want you to know that I have never asked for a sign from God. I have heard of people doing this and scoffed at the idea. But right before our big auction in June, I was seriously doubting our decision to move to Alaska. Everything seemed to be coming at me, full steam, and being the very stable homebody that I am, I was scared that I wasn't following God's will for my family...maybe that I was just being selfish...taking the kids away from their friends and jobs, and most importantly, taking us all away from our family...leaving my mom, Marigayle and Sarah. And I was leaving behind my very best friends, who I depend on every day of my life. So....I asked God for a sign that I was doing the right thing. Less than 3 minutes later (I was driving over by the mall), I looked at the Luby's Cafeteria sign and what does it say? It said " Baked Alaska" for $4.50. Now, anyone who has lived in the Valley knows that a place like Luby's has NEVER had Baked Alaska on the menu. I have just never seen it in the restaurant and trust me, I have eaten there a million times since I was a little girl. So when I saw that sign, I pulled over and laughed and laughed and acknowledged that God had sent me the sign I needed.  Just amazing, really. I told James all about it and we all felt better about our decision. That night when I got into our bed, I had my little stack of magazines ready to read. I picked up the first one, which was a Family Circle, and I just opened it up sorta in the middle to see if I had already read it, and the page I opened it to was a recipe for how to make....wait for it...BAKED ALASKA!!!! I couldn't believe it. Showed James and we squealed together...what a sign! What more could we ask for? God had given us two signs and we were satisfied and from that day forward, I knew we were doing the right thing.        Truly, without a doubt, the right thing.
So fast forward to last weekend, when we went to the glacier to walk around and get out of the house, we jokingly asked my daddy to send us some bears. It just so happened to be my daddy's 75th birthday, and we had celebrated it all day with funny stories and had even dug out some old photos of him, to keep his memories alive. Well, you guessed it...my daddy sent us some bears...in fact, he sent a mama bear and her two cubs, right out into our path. They were the most amazing animals we had ever seen in the wild. We did a lot of squealing and we watched those bears for over an hour. You could have heard a pin drop out at the glacier. EVERYONE around us (about 15 of us) just watched, mouths open and simply amazed. What a treat! And yes, I think my daddy sent them in our path. I am sure of it.

     After the bear fun, we went to a little cafe for lunch. It started to rain, but quickly cleared up, but then the rainbows came. Yes, rainbow-s....several of them...here, there, all over. Now my daddy was just flat out showing off. Rainbows everywhere and all we could do was smile and laugh and praise the LORD that my daddy was right there with us. I could feel him...I really could. On this birthday, after him being gone over 3 years, I knew for the first time, that he was here with us in Alaska. He would have loved living here. He loved the mountains and the pine trees and wildlife. He was a real mountain man....and a mountain OF a man. I will miss seeing his smile for the rest of my life. He has come to me twice in my dreams and he was right there with me when I needed him the most, but I yearn to hug him and to feel safe in his arms again, like when I was a little girl. Because of my belief in God and my knowing Jesus as my Lord and Savior, I know I will see him again. And when I do, I will run into his arms and feel safe and secure.
     I guess this blog post has kinda turned into a tribute to my daddy, for his 75th birthday. I know my precious mama mourns him to this very day, and will for the rest of her life. But she will see him again, and he will be out of pain and standing tall. I can't help heal her heart. I tried but I can't. I have finally realized that I can not mourn for anyone else but me. We all miss him...he was the anchor of our family. I am just blessed to have had him in my life for 50 years. Blessed beyond all reason...thank you, dear Lord.